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Coaching

  • qbg
    • 89 posts
    April 9, 2012 8:38 PM PDT

    Ronin's post about mileage -- enough mileage, not enough mileage -- made me think that he tries to let dancers know what kind of lap he likes.  Whether that's true or not, it brings to mind a question:  Do you coach your dances on their laps?

     

    I'm curious, because I don't, unless the girl is doing something really uncomfortable.  Typically, I let the girl do what she wants.  I figure it's part of the audition.  Like a test.  More to the point, I don't want to pull the girl out of her comfort zone.  That's usually a loser.  Trying to turn a bouncy dancer into a sensual dancer tends not to work.  If she felt good about being sensual, that's the way she'd be.  If she doesn't, she just becomes a lousy sensual dancer.  

     

    Sometimes, a dancer is able to figure me out without coaching.  Obviously, extra points for that kind of effort.  I will notice a girl gets better each time.  My ATF (that is, all-time No.1) was like that.  First time or two, rough going.  Looks & personality kept her on my card.  Fourth time, she blew me away.

     

    My all-time No. 2 (vice-ATF?) was good from the get-go, but she let on later that it took 2 or 3 times for her really to get the hang of it, as it were; she was reading me and I didn't even know it.

     

    Anybody else?  Coaches?  Slugs?  

    • 227 posts
    April 9, 2012 8:54 PM PDT
    I tend to not be a mileage hound. I have been told a number of times I am easy to dance for. My requests tend to be rather innocent ones. I don't ask for much. I don't like it when dances are very rough or hyper. I dont want to feel like I was just hit by a hurricane
    I used to let dancer do her thing but I was told by a number of dancers they would like to know what I enjoy sooner than later.
    It's been my experience most dancers are capable of delivering what I ask for.
    • 2036 posts
    April 9, 2012 9:32 PM PDT
    First couple dances, I let them do there thing. But after that, I won't say anything, but will guide them how I like dances, while they are doing there thing.

    There are some dancers, I just don't like the way they dance, and won't be a repeat customer after a few tries.
    • 38 posts
    April 9, 2012 11:02 PM PDT
    I think you should let us do our thing like qbg said, if you dont like what we do but you like us give us the constructive criticism. If we are willing to adjust to make it more pleasurable for you then we will if not then everyone can move on. We all should try to figure out what it is you want and even though you may flat out say it we need to figure out how to perform within our comfort zones and achieve it.
    • 50 posts
    April 10, 2012 12:03 AM PDT
    i always let the girl do what she wants, if she's happy i'm happy. If she does not enjoy doing what she does with free reign it will show and i will go elsewhere. I have hardly ever went elsewhere
    Let me put it this way. My first girlfriend was an ex dancer. She was a knockout, I was lucky as i was young & naive she took charge, it was amazing. Years later i have yet to see even a porno approaching the raunchiness of this girl. She basically just used me like a fuck toy and got me off over & over.
    However anytime i initiated sex she went into a coma. She told me later she liked to take the lead, and me doing it was too much like work. I stored that little tidbit in the back of my brain. If you let the girl direct the action they tend to be more aggressive but also more relaxed. Let the girl get into it, relax and go at her own pace. It might take her awhile to warm up but once they get their motor running the dances become awesome.
    • 1983 posts
    April 10, 2012 12:18 AM PDT

    I sometimes coach or um direct a dancer for me to have a better lapping experience. After all I'm spending the & THEY ARE THERE TO PLEASE US!!! NOT the other way around & if they don't like it we could always go with someone else who are willing to listen to what type of dance we are into.

     

    Most dancers are accepting to do things I asked for especially if they stay too long in one position(i get bored easily) I will asked them politely to switch or do this. I don't come across as a hard ass or give any attitude and the majority of dancers that have dance for me for the most part are willing to be coach & try out new things.

     

    Now I don't always tell them what to do every single time I buy a dance, Especially if I'm already liking the dance in what movements they might be doing or even having them coach me to sit or lay down this way. You do have some that grind way too hard that I have to ease them down so I can get OFF, Or some who do an AIR-Dance and regardless how much you want them to sit on your lap won't listen. Now those are the type of dancers I stay away from if they are not willing to listen or give me a pleasurable experience.

     

    If I am spending a lot of I like to try many positions and you do have some DUMB dancers who only know or do 2 positions(Front & back lap grind) that they are not creative or used their sexual Imagination. Now when it comes to FS, I don't coach as I know some these hoes get around & KNOW A LOT, but will discuss if this is possible before the dance and if they say NO, I don't take it personal as I know some have limits just like being coach in a lap dance, you can't force things they don't want to do.

     

    That's the beauty of Strip clubs though we have so many here in L.A. and many dancers to choose from at various clubs. We never have to settle with bad seeds.

     

    Peace Out!!!


    This post was edited by LouASS at April 10, 2012 12:28 AM PDT
    • 38 posts
    April 10, 2012 10:03 AM PDT
    Some people become great at what they do. They usually have lots of talent and want to be great so they put in a lot of effort into what they do. No amount of coaching can make a dancer, who has no talent or unwilling to work at her craft, into a great dancer. There's a lot more than the mechanical technique that goes into a great dance. It's way beyond my ability to coach someone to be great. If I am just looking for a decent dance then it's a lot easier just look for another dancer. For all these reasons, I do not coach any dancer.
  • NY
    • 236 posts
    April 10, 2012 5:59 PM PDT
    qbg said:

    Ronin's post about mileage -- enough mileage, not enough mileage -- made me think that he tries to let dancers know what kind of lap he likes.  Whether that's true or not, it brings to mind a question:  Do you coach your dances on their laps?

     

    I'm curious, because I don't, unless the girl is doing something really uncomfortable.  Typically, I let the girl do what she wants.  I figure it's part of the audition.  Like a test.  More to the point, I don't want to pull the girl out of her comfort zone.  That's usually a loser.  Trying to turn a bouncy dancer into a sensual dancer tends not to work.  If she felt good about being sensual, that's the way she'd be.  If she doesn't, she just becomes a lousy sensual dancer.  

     

    Sometimes, a dancer is able to figure me out without coaching.  Obviously, extra points for that kind of effort.  I will notice a girl gets better each time.  My ATF (that is, all-time No.1) was like that.  First time or two, rough going.  Looks & personality kept her on my card.  Fourth time, she blew me away.

     

    My all-time No. 2 (vice-ATF?) was good from the get-go, but she let on later that it took 2 or 3 times for her really to get the hang of it, as it were; she was reading me and I didn't even know it.

     

    Anybody else?  Coaches?  Slugs?  


    I'm pretty much a slug.  I let girls do what ever they want.  I want stay within her her comfort zone.  I find that may take a little more time, but that usually leads to more trust and better mileage.

    • 23 posts
    April 10, 2012 11:15 PM PDT
    I don't really coach a dancer, but if there's something she does that I really like, I tend to let her know, most of the time, subtly with a little "mmmm" or if she's not getting the hint, and I really want it bad enough, I let her know specifically what she did that was so appealing.

    One time a dancer asked if I prefer a fast dance or a sensual dance, and I responded with the latter. On two other occasions dancers have asked what I like. I get nervous and don't know what to say for two reasons. One, I don't want to make them uncomfortable with a request out of their milage zone, and two because I don't want to say my fantasies out loud. It kind of kills the concept of the fantasy. Both times when asked what I like I responded, by saying, "I like you".

    Has anyone else ever had that question asked from a dancer? and if so, how have you responded?
    • 2036 posts
    April 10, 2012 11:53 PM PDT
    @Willwad: Yes, I have had a question like that from a dancer.

    This was a few years back with a dancer that use to work at DVNH. She was "asking" to be coached.

    Our first coupla dances she would ask, "do you like it slow, medium, or fast?" The first time I said medium, but every time after that I said slow. She did the dances as requested. After a few dances, she didn't even have to ask.
    • 1983 posts
    April 11, 2012 12:45 AM PDT
    @WillWad: Don't get nervous and you should say whats on your mind. Dancers have heard EVERYTHING!!!! Nothing surprises them anymore. You are supposed to live out your fantasies and if you don't tell them, You might end up getting disappointed for not speaking up your mind in what you really wanted.

    I have been asked "Are you a Boob or ASS Man". I reply an ASS Man and right from the get go I get her Booty shove down my face & vice versa if I reply the other way.

    It's rare but have been asked the same question. You like it rough or soft> I have replied rough, but some of the times I have had to slow them down and change my mind to go softer you're Killing me.

    Also don't worry in making them uncomfortable as long as you are polite with your request you might be surprised more times than not you'll end up getting what you want out of your dance.

    I think dancers get more uncomfortable if you are the type that is very grabby & rude to her now that would probably get her uncomfortable in not getting what you want out of the dance.

    Now, Anywhere a person goes high to very high mileage is to be had. Dancers realized they have to step their game up or that customer(or regular customer) might decide to go elsewhere to fulfill their fantasies. That's the beauty of L.A. as we have so many clubs & so many dancers that you can basically get whatever you want more times than not.

    Peace Out!!!
    • 200 posts
    April 11, 2012 11:25 AM PDT
    Manual said:
    @Willwad: Yes, I have had a question like that from a dancer. This was a few years back with a dancer that use to work at DVNH. She was "asking" to be coached. Our first coupla dances she would ask, "do you like it slow, medium, or fast?" The first time I said medium, but every time after that I said slow. She did the dances as requested. After a few dances, she didn't even have to ask.

     

    Funny variation on this story that happened to me.  A dancer asked me whether I liked the dances "hard or soft."  My response, not knowing what she was implying, was to say "surprise me."

     

    Well, the soft part was just fine, a slow sensual grind.   The "hard" part consisted of her bouncing her ass up and down really hard on my lap.  It was like getting punched in the nuts over and over. 

     

    As to the overall issue, I think asking "are you a boob man or ass man" is a good start for the dancer.  But if not asked, I let the dancer do her thing.  Then, I react to what she does, hoping she'll pick up the cues and change her dance to suit my reactions.  Some do and some don't.

     

    That is not to say that advising the dancer what you want is improper.  After all, as LouASS noted, we are the customer and as the purchaser we have the right to ask for what we want. 

    • 23 posts
    April 11, 2012 6:13 PM PDT
    LouASS said:
    Also don't worry in making them uncomfortable as long as you are polite with your request you might be surprised more times than not you'll end up getting what you want out of your dance. !!!

    Thanks for the advice LouASS. Next time I get asked the question I'll be more forthcoming with my response and report back on my experience.
    • 45 posts
    April 11, 2012 7:22 PM PDT
    Some coaching is really helpful to us when we're giving you the dance...I try to take the subtle hints and feel it out...My average dance tends to be a little bit of everything....and throughout that I try to pay attention to what seemed to work and give more of that....it's different for every guy...every once in a while though someone will just come right out and say what they want....a guy not too long ago asked me to simply stand up and show him my ass...I would have never done that on my own as anyone else would have been bored and felt completely robbed... sometimes it's so much easier to be told what to do and then everyone is happy....
    • 446 posts
    April 11, 2012 8:35 PM PDT
    I will always encourage the dancer to do her own thing, and I'm rarely disappointed. The only times I've ever coached a dancer was if she was dancing for me like I was a guy - I don't like that at all and will tell her so (but very politely, of course). I then proceeded to "teach" her how to dance for women. Usually they are very eager students ;)

    I've noticed most cognizant dancers, like Carmen mentioned, are very observant of what is and isn't working with each individual customer, and adapt accordingly. We as customers are all so different in what we each expect. Unlike the robotic dancers that always do the same routine regardless of who is underneath them, the savvy dancers that care enough to try and accommodate each of us will no doubt reap the benefits of their efforts.
    • 1983 posts
    April 11, 2012 9:28 PM PDT
    Willywad said:
    LouASS said:
    Also don't worry in making them uncomfortable as long as you are polite with your request you might be surprised more times than not you'll end up getting what you want out of your dance. !!!

    Thanks for the advice LouASS. Next time I get asked the question I'll be more forthcoming with my response and report back on my experience.
    [LouASS]-->If it's not working well,  You don't have to wait for the question just be forward in letting her know what exactly you want. Just remember most dancers are willing to please in trying to keep you in the lap booth much longer(more longer time means more for them) so be straight forward with them.  Most of these girls are human beings NOT ROBOTS so they will listen to what you have to say & you'll get a better response & better treatment in WHAT YOU LIKE as it's all about  YOU not them.
      I know that this sounds selfish,  But we are not there to please them,  They are there to please US!!!! Just remember that,  As most dancers already have boyfriends/Girlfriends they go home to,  so they don't really give a flying Fuck about  us,  But if you are in it to have a good time just make sure you get your money's worth when you do spend your money out of your pocket.
    • 1983 posts
    April 11, 2012 9:46 PM PDT
    Carmen said:
    Some coaching is really helpful to us when we're giving you the dance...I try to take the subtle hints and feel it out...My average dance tends to be a little bit of everything....and throughout that I try to pay attention to what seemed to work and give more of that....it's different for every guy...every once in a while though someone will just come right out and say what they want....a guy not too long ago asked me to simply stand up and show him my ass...I would have never done that on my own as anyone else would have been bored and felt completely robbed... sometimes it's so much easier to be told what to do and then everyone is happy....
    [LouASS]-->Carmen,  You seem to be a very understanding dancer/Women in what a guy wants out of his dance & try to make  everyone of us happy.  I agree not all of us want the same exact thing. 
    We are all different people with some strange fetishes or want  different  things out of a  dance as I have been told the same thing from another dancer as well.  She told me every guy is different you just don't know what to expect.
      She too just like you has told me a couple of guys have told her the same thing just to stand up and show her ASS in front of them and not move a muscle.  Just like a statue. Now I wouldn't like this, but she did what was asked of her as she was there to please that guy at that time. I really prefer not to say her name, but she is one of my ATF's. 
    I have seen other guys when I walked in to vip rooms just pay just to chat with a girl(Yeah In a VIP room).  No dances whatsover weird I know.   Even once saw another  dancer eating Pizza with a PL at a VIP bed at DVNH back in the day. I am not there to be a peepin' tom but have seen stuff like this while taking my dancer into the vip room.  
    • 45 posts
    April 11, 2012 9:59 PM PDT

    YUP! So true...I have had people buy dances just to sit and talk...I always feel a little guilty doing that though...I feel like no matter how much they say that's all they want it can't be true...So I always dance at least some or ask multiple times are you sure you don't want me to dance...or if a song I really like comes on I'll request that they let me dance that song and see how they feel after that...if they get into it and stop talking I'm guessing they are enjoying the dance...If they start talking again I figure maybe they really do want to talk...I've had all kinds of fetishes...feet, shoes, pain, dominatrix, dirty talk, white panties...all kinds...as long as it isn't intruding on the rules or my boundaries (and to be honest most fetish dances are more respectful of rules and boundaries than any other) then I find it very interesting and different...as long as your enjoying it, I'm more than happy to slap you around, step on you with my heels on, put on a pair of white panties, or role play a little....Those dances are a break from the "daily grind" (lol I'm so punny hahahahaha!!!!) and usually super fun and easy....plus I love psychology so I always wonder just what is it about that certain thing that turns them on so much...anyways that's my 2 cents


    This post was edited by Carmen at April 11, 2012 10:01 PM PDT
    • 1983 posts
    April 11, 2012 10:20 PM PDT
    Carmen, I bet most of those guys that want to just chat are Married Men. Probably not happy at home, and Used dancers like you just to vent out their frustrations. I'm not surprised by your response as I know dancers are not just dancers at the club, but also great actresses, And pretty good therapist as well from what I seen. I would bet it;s much cheaper for them to pay you girls to listen than it would be for a therapist/Psychologist at $250 half hour pay.

    As sometimes some as I have seen prefer to just talked then get a dance. I used to see this all the time back in the early days of DVNH out on the floor. I could never understand this at first when I was new at the club. Why are some of these dancers wasting so much time(not making any ), but then realized later on what was going on as they(dancers) were getting paid on the side without having to share this with the club. That is how the word FUCKOE came into play. It's not just about a customer hogging a dancers time by buying dances and not giving other guys a chance, but also by hog tying her just to chat for long periods of time.

    I also knew a wheel chair bound PL that used to frequent VIP & DVNH on the dayshifts only. He used to post on zbone & he was into getting his hair pulled hard & being bitch slap and just like being tortured and called filthy names. I used to read his post on zbone, but little did I know til I met him in person he is a a wheel chair bound PL and not really flexible on his upper half of his body either. I always wondered what happen to DaveG31?
    • 2036 posts
    April 11, 2012 11:02 PM PDT
    The therapist/psychologist won't even kyso. the SC is more bang for your buck.
  • April 12, 2012 9:12 AM PDT
    I dont like getting coached by the dancer. ;Sit back", "scoot over" "sit up" . Girl.. just figure out something to do in here naked and let me relax.
    • 38 posts
    April 12, 2012 9:47 AM PDT
    I have found the best dance happens when the dancer is feeling sexy and enjoying the dance. To me, giving some pointer and coaching are two different thing. I feel it's easier to find a better dancer than to coach a dancer to be better. I can see the benefit of coaching a new dancer who I really like, but that hasn't happened yet.
    • 41 posts
    April 12, 2012 1:57 PM PDT
    The best dances come when the girl is genuily into you. But either the girl is into you or not. Can't "coach" her to be attracted to you. Now there are some professionals who care about your repeat business and enjoy what they do, but even the luster falls off after awhile because you tend to start sensing the mechanical side of their dance. My advice is to find a girl who is attracted to you and stick and move. That way she gets just as excited when she sees you and the routine feels fresh. Can't coach emotions and what you really want is for the girl to enjoy her time on your lap as much as you do. The point where it feels like a transaction is the point where you realize it's time to move on to the next one! Keep it fresh and sticky!
    • 2036 posts
    April 12, 2012 2:43 PM PDT
    Stickyicky said:
    The best dances come when the girl is genuily into you. But either the girl is into you or not. Can't "coach" her to be attracted to you. 

    I couldn't have said it better myself.  I've gotten some hot dances from dancers that weren't into me, they were good but felt very robotic.  Even when a dancer pretends to be into you, you can still tell she is a little distant, because they put up a front.

     

    But the ones that genuinely like you, they don't put up a front, but are themselves.  They might even enjoy themselves in a dance.  

     

    It takes a couple of visits for some girls to drop their front.  But other girls always have it up, even if you've seen them many times.

    • 50 posts
    April 12, 2012 3:50 PM PDT
    Carmen said:

    YUP! So true...I have had people buy dances just to sit and talk...I always feel a little guilty doing that though...I feel like no matter how much they say that's all they want it can't be true...So I always dance at least some or ask multiple times are you sure you don't want me to dance...or if a song I really like comes on I'll request that they let me dance that song and see how they feel after that...if they get into it and stop talking I'm guessing they are enjoying the dance...If they start talking again I figure maybe they really do want to talk...I've had all kinds of fetishes...feet, shoes, pain, dominatrix, dirty talk, white panties...all kinds...as long as it isn't intruding on the rules or my boundaries (and to be honest most fetish dances are more respectful of rules and boundaries than any other) then I find it very interesting and different...as long as your enjoying it, I'm more than happy to slap you around, step on you with my heels on, put on a pair of white panties, or role play a little....Those dances are a break from the "daily grind" (lol I'm so punny hahahahaha!!!!) and usually super fun and easy....plus I love psychology so I always wonder just what is it about that certain thing that turns them on so much...anyways that's my 2 cents

     

    First this reminds me of what my psychology professor (who was a practicing psychiatrist as well) taught us. A good therapist is like a good friend. They listen to you vent and go on and while supportive allow you to find your own solutions. There is no book to intrepet meanings of dreams for instance. Dreams are personalized to each person and their life experience.  I can't remember exactly the example but this one patient had described a dream where a train went through a tunnel, so the doctor believed it was about sex as is a common intrepretation. Turns out the patient used to go watch the trains pass where he lived as a small child so it was more of a longing for his childhood then anything sexual. Many people find someone like a dancer much easier to talk to because of the enviroment and a dancers life experience having common ground with their own. For instance almost every girlfriend i have ever had expressed at one time or another that they felt like they were two people trapped in the same body. The little princess and the whore seems to be quite common. The demonizing of sex by society instead of it being recognized as  a natural physical & emotional urge neccessary for the continuation of the species. One reasons cathlic schoolgirls are so screwed up and so good in bed, they never really reconcile that their most primal urges are natural and everyone has them.

    Every girl i have dated has told me that i allow both people inside her  to become the one person she is instead of having to suppress one side of herself.

    Dancers have to live through that   reality every day. they move about in the real world as non strippers then go to a club and help guys fulfill their fantasies. Who better to understand that we are all complex individuals with a wide variety of needs. The dancers, like Carmen, who understand that and look at their job as more of an opportunity versus a punishment are the women who not only are successful dancers but are well balanced productive members of society.

     

    Now there are some people, me included, who find it very relaxing to do something non sexual in a sexual situation and vice versa. I had an old girlfriend the first time we had sex we were watching some bad movie on tv. So we used to get turned on when certain things came on tv, we practically broke the headboard during a three stooges marathon. On the other hand i have had dances that literally went a couple hours where we talked about everything but sex. Now most of those times we did a slow ,sensual but very hard grind the whole time, sometimes the dancer even went and got her lunch and we ate it while we "danced". Now to someone walking by i am sure it looked like we were just talking as there was almost no movement at all. But trust me those dances were as sensual and sexy as any that KMSO

    So some people enjoy dances that are not "dances" in the typical sense,